Okay, folks. My name is NOT Criss Angel.

This is going to be short, because my computer is dying, and I need to go run errands for tomorrow.

You need to realize, we're not magicians in the pharmacy. Sure, we do have some tricks up our lab coat sleeves, but not anything to make your prescription appear out of thin air. You need to give us at least a few moments to get it together.

Case in point - Friday morning, a babysitter comes into my store with her charge. She comes to pick up, and tells me "Prescription for Jane Doe*, it was just called in."

Of course, it wasn't ready. We hadn't even gotten it off our voicemail yet. It was 10:30 AM exactly. So, my pharmacist went into the doctor voicemail, and took the first message -- from 10:23 AM -- off. It wasn't the right one, but after that, the message from 10:28 AM -- yes, 2 minutes prior -- there it was. It was for an assload of Augmentin-ES suspension. I went to work typing it into our system right away, then I mixed up the bottles. The woman stood at the register trying to rush me along. One of my biggest pet peeves, besides cell phone use, is people standing at the counter staring at me to make me hurry up. Not only does it piss me off and make me work a little bit slower, but it's also really irritating to the pharmacists on duty. We've got to run the DUR system, and we've got to make sure everything's correct. Sit yourself down in our comfortable (they really are, this isn't sarcasm) chairs, and just give us a few freaking moments.

When I finally had it done, and my pharmacist had checked it for me, I went to ring her up. It took 20 minutes, because she kept asking asinine questions, like "is it okay to charge it to this card? It's not mine" and so on. I could not have cared any less if she'd've pulled out Brad Pitt's credit card, or something, at that rate. I just wanted her out of there before my blood pressure went up any further. Even when I gave her some typical Augmentin counseling, she just wanted more. My pharmacist gave me a look of pity, since I had to keep repeating myself over and over and over and over. It was pretty awful. She tried to get the lady to listen to what we were saying, but it didn't work very well.

Just read the information sheet we give out, people. If you have any remaining questions, call us and ask, but just listen to what we have to say the first time we say it.